no sense legalism

The longer i stay here the more i hate it. that's a horrible thing to say, but really . . . this place has turned into a stench that won't run clean from me.

i just went by residence life to get my $250 housing deposit back. the deposit my po' family scraped together back when i was a freshman so i could move in on campus. i go by the office and they say that i can't get it back because i didn't sign some sheet by December 1st. i didn't know about any sheet, trust me if i had, i would have signed the stupid thing. they said that there's nothing they can do . . . now tell me this . . . 250 bucks is nothing to this stupid university, and yet it's more than nothing to me. why is the world run by such selfish legalism!? it irritates me to no end, and there's nothing i can do about it . . . except to show grace when some one comes to me.

UGH! i just wish people would look outside themselves sometimes and to see the needs in other people!

it's so hard to stay dedicated to my school work since i know i'm not going to be here next year. things are piling up, especially since i have 4 studio classes. i was up till 4 am last night and had to be at work this morning at 9. i can't function like this, and i have to keep wondering . . . is it even worth it? i suppose it is. well, for one thing, i PAID to struggle like this, so in a sense i did this to myself, and by golly i'm going to work my hardest and get through it and be stronger for it. it's just hard to keep that mind set when i know that it isn't working for a 'goal' anymore. i suppose there is still a goal, it's only changed.

movin and shakin

well, some huge and exciting news! I'm moving to Texas in August. I'm super excited. I know this is what the Lord wants for me, and where He is directing me to go. I'll live in Austin for a year and get to share Christ in radical ways to a post-modern crowd. i am SOOO excited. this is something i've always wanted to do. to check it out more (and i suggest you do cuz it rocks ) go to www.fireseedanthology.blogspot.com it's AMAZING.

i got a new job at Jax New Orleans Bistro in downtown Anderson. It's a super nice restaurant. It's one of those places that serves wine and the mashed potatoes are squirted out of a star shaped bag so that it's all pretty on the plate and all. it's FINE dining. I'm the hostess. last night was my first night. i really enjoyed it. i was about to die though by the end of the night because i decided to wear the wrong shoes . . . my toes are still numb today. i could barely walk. now i have to guy more shoes =(. i'm so glad i got the job though, cuz it's going to be a pretty substantial increase of income. i'm so excited because now i can start saving and paying off my student loans. God is soo good!

i haven't told my parents yet about Austin. i told them i need to have a "meeting" to tell them something. the bad news though . . . is that i'll be working every weekend at Jax. friday nite. saturday nite. and sunday. it'll work out though. maybe i can swing by there a sunday nite or something after work, and after church.

i'm amazed at how much God keeps changing my life.

Helen Keller and Jesus

I looked up Helen Keller on google and read a biography of her offline. She never ceases to amaze me. This is her brail Bible. What an amazing picture of the Word of God. She did more with her extremely handicapped life than most of us who are completely healthy will do. She is a true inspiration. I wonder why we never seem to reach our potential. Teachers at school push us year after year. We join group after group and become leaders in such-and-such, yet we never seem to measure up. I believe that some people fail to meat their potential because they don't care to, they don't see the value in becoming greater than they were yesterday. Others, I feel, don't reach it simply because they don't think they can. The truth, however, is that only through the grace of our Heavenly Father will we ever "measure up" or reach our "potential." We are blinded by our own ideas of what our lives should be. If we could only step back and see that God has a story so much bigger and better than anything we could ever write, and He's begging us to star in it.

I pray we realize that our lives are beautiful and adventursome. I pray we get intouch with the author and learn to submit to His incredible script.